I should be so mad with you. So goddamn mad. I should not want to answer your phone calls, or the 89 text messages you’ve sent me in the last 6 hours. I shouldn’t be wanting to run over to your house and just hug you and not leave.
But I do, and you drive me fucking crazy.
The worst part is, I like how it feels.
I’ve had an amazing trip so far. Honestly had the most fun and felt incredibly happy; something I haven’t felt in a long time. I’ve met wonderful people, whom I’d consider to be great friends already. It’s awful that we live countries apart though.
We’ve had incredible adventures, from jumping on a bus in London, giving them a certain amount of money and telling the driver to ‘drop us off anywhere’ or ‘as far as the money takes us, mate!’ and then exploring that place and eventually finding our way home. Having karaoke sessions out on the street, and taxi drivers joining in after they’ve finished their shift.
Flying to France, and meeting up with my old housemate and her boyfriend (my best friend), and having numerous drunken rampages throughout bars and random little shops. Tripping it to Monaco, jumping around on the beach, burying Jerome under the sand, cocktails on the sand, dancing along to buskers, etc.
This trip is anything but finished, I’m loving every second of it.
I guess last night truly proved that you shouldn’t take anything for granted. What an eye opener. No matter how dark the tunnel may seem, there’s always a light somewhere at the end.
I probably just killed myself laughing for a good 10 minutes at this
We’re always told not to grow up too fast, but as the years come and go, the days seem shorter and longer, the meaning seemed to disintegrate into nothing. Nothing important, anyway. We walk around with a sense of pretentious pride that hides layer after layer of secrets under our thick skin.
Our clothes never seemed to fit correctly, we can never get our hair to stay the way we want it to, and the words that come out of our mouths always seem to come out wrong, and when we try to correct ourselves, that sounds wrong, too. We’re striving to be perfect, to reach for a goal that doesn’t exist.
And we’re torturing ourselves in so many ways; plucking and pulling, shaving and cutting, caking on things that are bad for our faces, and doing things to each other because everyone else is. For what purpose, really? To be happy, right? That’s all we’re trying to be, but get lost along the way.
Pre-school. Kindergarten. Best friends. Middle school. Lose best friends. High school. Get new best friends. Stress out. Go haywire. Fall in love a lot. Fall out of love a lot. College. Laziness. Self-discovery. Get a job. Fall in love for the last time. Get married. Have kids. It’s all a cycle.
I’m starting to think I’m losing my way.
